Audrey Hale, the transgender shooter who killed three adults and three children at a Christian school in Tennessee last spring, detailed her “imaginary penis” and gender identity struggles in a newly-revealed screed.
Hale, who had started going by the name Aiden at the time of the shooting, wrote extensively about her frustrations with being raised as a girl, including fears of being “called a dyke or a f—-t” during high school. She described her gender dysphoria as “torture” and wrote that she “should not be in this body!”
In one entry, Hale wrote: “My penis exists in my head. I swear to god I’m a male.” She expressed a desire to have access to puberty blockers as a child, lamenting “I was in the 6th grade, puberty already hit me.”
Hale also detailed fantasies about having sex as a man, using a “stuffed boy doll” to act out her desires. However, she condemned herself as a “pervert” for becoming too preoccupied with these imaginary scenarios.
The self-hating writings were penned just 16 days before Hale’s deadly attack on the Covenant School. In the weeks leading up to the shooting, Hale’s journal entries showed growing frustration with LGBTQ+ politics and a desire for “death.”
Hale’s mental state and access to weapons despite a history of disturbing thoughts have raised questions about the warning signs that were missed prior to the tragedy. The families of the victims have pleaded with the courts not to release Hale’s extensive writings, arguing the shooter “doesn’t get to speak from the grave.”
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